Posts Tagged ‘fail’

Veggie Burgers: redemption awaits.

So the Virgin is back, albeit with a less than stellar performance with some Veggie Burgers. Sure, my ego is bruised, but what more can you expect from a (vegetarian) virgin? I was tempted to not share this one, but they do taste pretty good, nonetheless. The problem isn’t the taste—which I guess is redemptive—but the consistency; the form, not content (for what it’s worth).

The coNo, you will not eat the plastic wrap--at least not more than once.urse: the all-crucial Veggie Burger. Below will surely be only the first in a series of Vurger installments—if for no other reason than to atone for the final results. The problem, which I’ll get into more below, is that the burgers didn’t stay together very well; they didn’t totally come apart, but they didn’t keep shape perfectly either. Towards the end I propose some ways to try and fix this problem in the future.


1/2 yellow bell pepper, (not too) finely diced

1/2 jalapeño, (not too) finely diced

4 pepperoncini, diced

4 Spanish olives, diced

4 cloves garlic, diced (getting the trend yet?)

6 oz. black beans, drained

6 oz. lentils, drained

2 tbs. extra virgin olive oil

1 tsp. fennel seeds

1.5 tbs. paprika

1 tbs. garlic salt

1 tbs. majoram

1 tbs. crushed red pepper flakes

1 tbs. basil

1 tsp. dill

6 oz. panko

Makes 4 patties

Coat the bottom of a skillet with oil. Heat over medium to medium-high heat. Add all of the vegetables except for the beans. Feel free to add a pinch of salt to help bring out some more flavor and sweat the peppers. Heat everything until the peppers become semi-translucent and the garlic just begins to brown, making sure not burn it. Remove and allow to cool.

Combine the mix and the beans, and then stir in the rest of the seasonings. Crack that egg and drop it on top. Mix the whole mess together with your hands, making sure to disperse the egg and somewhat break down the black beans; this means don’t be afraid to use some pressure, muscles—but not too much, since you don’t want mush.

Dollar is for scale, not consumption.

Form the mess into patties; you should be able to get four. Here’s a tip I stole from mygrandmother: use a shallow plastic container to get the shape. Just make sure to line the bottom with a fair amount of plastic wrap so you can wrap the burgers and individually freeze them. I let them set up for 30mins in the fridge—but I don’t think this is enough. Again, though, I’ll get into that below.

No rocket science here. Just serve it like you’d serve any burger: tomato; onion; bun; cheese; avocado. I advise staying away from mustards or ketchup with this one, though, since the flavors don’t jive with the veggie mix.

Non-Veg Friendly Factor: 2, maybe less. For one, veggie burgers are a hard sell to carnivores; there’s no way around that. But give them a veggie burger that falls apart and you’ll get your face grilled. That being said, the mix is of vegetables is pretty great. I may not use lentils next time—I want a different consistency—but everything else was spot-on. Wait until you smell the veggie mix in the pan; you’ll have omnivores pouring in, asking for a bite.

Finally, to my gripe: these bitches fall apart. They stay together better after they freeze (as opposed to simply setting up for 30mins), but it’s still not ideal. I have a (hopeful) solution though: 1-2 oz. more of panko, or maybe some olive oil mayonnaise. I need some more/ better binding, so if anyone has any suggestions, light up the comment box below. Otherwise, just wait until Veggie Burgers: the Return, you damn non-participators.